The risk of failure
When is failing in art an important part of the process of learning and growing and when is it detrimental to the individual?
Is there a general feeling amongst teachers that taking risks causes more harm than good and therefor choose to stick to the tried and true?
I have been a great advocate of taking risks in my work as an artist. I become more stimulated when I step outside of what I already know. To dare to work without knowing the outcome has been an area that draws my attention as an artist. I get easily bored when I become adept at something and long for challenges that will take me to areas I have never been, towards discoveries that will enrich my life on other levels than merely my artistic output. It is as though art and life are so intertwined that it would feel as though I am not living if what I do as an artist is not also helping me to grow as a person.
The way I approach art teaching is similar to the way I approach my own artistic practice. I encourage kids to try out things they have never tried before. To not care about the results. I want them to believe in themselves and their own ideas first before they become adept in techniques and materials. That it is through self-confidence and access to their own imaginations that they will grow as human beings. This has been my belief.
There is however a part of me that struggles with this ideal picture. As an artist always seeking new ground and new insights I realise that it is not always a happy path to travel. The costs can be huge. I struggle with my confidence. I never really know if what I do is good. It is as if I am constantly forming new ways to relate to new materials and in these (for me) untraveled fields there are no written rules. No standards that are agreed upon where quality is a matter of control of technique and level of understanding of form, colour, balance, contrast. My self-doubt is at times completely crippling and I feel shame like a visible shroud over me.
In this area I choose to work in there are risks at every turn; the very real risk of failure. And failure has been something I have been forced to deal with throughout my life. I am forced to face the fact that my work is not often bought by the craft-buying public. Often my craft colleges do not understand my work and avoid asking me about it. When they do talk about my work I am often at the same time challenged about my use of material, or combinations of materials and the way I seemingly “avoid” traditional techniques or use them “sloppily”. I am seldom asked to be a part of ceramic art exhibitions. The more I challenge myself as an artist the bigger the risk of being left behind.
Failure is used here in relation to others. This is something I am very aware of. If I were braver as an artist I wouldn’t care about what others say, think or whether or not I am included in a group. Rationally thinking (which is hard for me to do) I can see that I yearn to be accepted in a group that symbolise a direction I strive not to follow.
And yet I continue to take these risks, over and over again. It’s as if I don’t think I have any choice in the matter. No matter now lonely and hard it feels not to be accepted for what I do as an artist I will presumably never be able to work any other way. When making art is so closely related to how I want to live my life I cannot see that I have any choice but to accept that it will be hard. And I cannot teach art in any other way than I do. I worry though about what the affect on my students will be if I teach in a way that leads them towards risk-taking and the very real risk of failure. However strong we think that we are we are often not ready for the affect of being unaccepted by our peers.
A lot is written today about the importance of the arts in schools. I agree with it all and I will strive along with everyone else to increase the access our children and young people have to all of the arts. What I think that we need to address though is whether or not we are prepared to see and take care of students who are not “ strong enough” that they can “learn by their failures” or who are, like me, not “brave enough” and suffer from not being accepted by their peers.